Maybe I should do my own business and give up on trying to write a whole blog in a language that’s not mine. But, if I do, how am I supposed to dispel the myth that Italians can’t speak other languages but their? Anonymity can guarantee me a quite wide band where make my honest grammar mistakes without any concern. I can read novels in english without any effort, I can understand people talking with me well enough (at least to explain the right direction to Piazza del Popolo), I use to watch movies trying not to follow subtitles… From a passive point of view, I think I can survive. But the problem arises when I have to talk or to write. When I must choose the right words and put them in the right sequence. I usually do a mess, people don’t understand what I’m trying to say and, when they ask me to repeat, I feel so humble that I let others speak instead of me. This is not good, obviously. I’ll never learn how to speak, if I go on like this.
Well, actually I had problems in speaking in front of others even in italian, when I was a child. Mmm, maybe more than a child: since I was 10 up to 14 or 15, I was the most shy and hesitant person of the Earth. I was afraid of speaking aloud in front of my classmates and I prefered to stay in silence when teachers called me at the blackboard and I couldn’t answer, instead of spin the right answers with a flash of fancy (thing that never lack me). I simply had rather to stay in silence.
As time went on, things changed. I changed. For reasons that I’ll explain later (in another post, I suppose), in my city we all stopped school for six months. Six months, and a summer in the meantime. After that summer, I became much more self-confident… I would quickly become saddest, too, but this is another story. A story about our city and all of us, that I hope I’ll tell in that post I was talking about three lines above.
My shy-side is still with me, obviously. The more I’m at ease the less I feel it, but it pops out when I know I can (and probably will) make mistakes… like now, for instance. But I’m also very determined and stubborn. I just opened another blog, another web-corner where I can’t hurt nobody but my honor and my endurance. Paradoxically, it’s difficult because italian grammar is much, much, much more rich and complicated than English grammar. Italian is so difficult that even most of the Italians can’t speak. I keep on finding mistakes among old peolple. It’ a pity, beacause it’s still a beatiful language. I love it… but, how beautiful can be, still it’s not enough. I’ve got too much to say for only one language. I need to be even more self-confident. I’ll start learning german soon, and I can’t not to think I should already have al least a good basis of English.
I hope I keep on writing here.